What Is...

Google Play has a Love Is In The Air promotion going on in which different romance authors share their favorite romantic movies, books and apps with you. I participated and even recorded a Dear [Me] video for them in which I talked about my first kiss and another video in which I chatted with HELL ON WHEELS star, Anson Mount about my latest romantic (and erotic) suspense novel, DECEPTIVE INNOCENCE

All of this has got me thinking a lot about romance. I mean, what exactly is romance? Not just its trappings, but what is it at its core?

Admittedly, the movies and music that touch my heart are a little offbeat. LOVE ACTUALLY is a sweet film but I have a special place in my heart for HAROLD AND MAUDE, a 70s flick about a young man morbidly fascinated with death (to the point of frequently staging his own suicide) who ends up falling in love with a 79 year old woman who spends each day celebrating life. It's a dark comedy and more than a little far fetched, and yet it really stayed with me. Until recently I never stopped to think about why.

What is clear to me is that my fiancé, Rod, is unfailingly romantic. He's always surprising me with gifts and gestures. He knows that I have fond memories of  listening to Paul Simon and Sting when I was a kid so he made a point of getting tickets for us to see them when it was announced that they'd be touring together. Or take this Saturday when I admired a coat while window shopping with him;  later that day I opened the closet and voila, there was that very coat, hanging there, waiting for me. I too find myself moved to do things for him, whether it's taking him to see Ben Harper one month or making him a playlist filled with the songs that reminds me of us (and that I think he'll like) the next.

And yet these presents are not the essence of romance. What moves me is what's behind the gifts. Rod knows I have an emotional connection to the music of Simon and Sting so he got us those tickets. The coat I had admired in the store? He had seen it earlier in the day, recognized that it was my style and then found a way to subtly lead me passed it later that same afternoon hoping I would try it on "just for fun" as I often do. Rod knows me. And I know him. Our connection is so strong and solid it feels almost tangible. Sometimes I can actually visualize an energy force connecting the two of us.

It's not that we think alike or that we're "one" because we often have very different perspectives on things and we're two distinct individuals. But we compliment each other. The other day we were watching MITT, a documentary on Mitt Romney.  In it Romney explains that when he gets upset or agitated over certain events or setbacks Ann Romney calms him and helps him put things in perspective. She helps him see that whatever problems he's dealing with are manageable. At that point in the film Rod turned to me and said, "Oh, I'm your Ann Romney!" And when I thought about it I realized he was right. Rod does center me. He does keep me calm when I'm overwhelmed. Rod then went on to speculate that perhaps I'm his Hillary Clinton in that I collaborate with him, challenge him and help him improve on whatever project he's working on. To a degree that's true but then he facilitates my improvement too, both professionally and personally. Like I said, we compliment each other.

I guess that's why I like HAROLD AND MAUDE, a story about two people who have radically different perspectives and life experience and yet compliment each other so well. Harold and Maude are incredibly flawed characters but they make each other better. Of course in the movie they take things to bizarre extremes and it has a very bittersweet ending. Like I said, it's a dark comedy and it's certainly not a story that I would ever want to live.

But to be fair, the only love story I want to live is the one I'm living.  My connection to Rod and the fact that we make such a great team...well, that makes every day romantic. Whether we're going to a concert, shopping, listening to music or walking the dog;  as far as I'm concerned, it's all hearts and flowers.

That's romance.

As we approach Valentine's Day I'd love to know how you define romance. What romantic qualities do you most value? What are your favorite romantic movies, songs, apps and books? What kinds of things touch your heart? Leave a comment with your answer. On Valentine's Day I'll throw the names of everyone who commented into a hat and randomly draw two winners, the first will win an autographed copy of JUST ONE NIGHT and the second will win a free DECEPTIVE INNOCENCE ebook.

Good luck and Happy Valentine's Day!