Haitian Adoption: Parents Struggle With Helplessness

Ever since I was a kid I've had this occasional but reoccurring nightmare. In it I'm living in 1930s Germany and...well, I probably don't have to explain why that would be a very bad thing. Now that I have a child I still have the dream a few times a year but now it's much worse. In my dream I know that my tall, blond fair skinned son has the physical characteristics to pass for Aryan if I were able to find a family to pretend that he is theirs. But I also know that emotionally he is incapable of successfully carrying off the deception and that by giving him to a Christian family I could easily be condemning both him and is intended rescuers to death. Of course I know that he isn't the only one in danger. I know that I will most likely die and that there's a good chance it won't be painless but that's not even a concern. I can handle anything except the knowledge that I am unable to protect my child. I realize that in the end I won't even know if he's all right or not and that's the part that wakes me up in a cold sweat.

Of course that's just a dream. I live in America in the 21st century and I CAN protect my son. I always know if he's all right or not.

But the American adoptive parents of all those Haitian children at Haitian orphanages right now are living my nightmare. Unlike in many countries, in Haiti families are matched with children early in the international adoption process so although an adoption almost always take upwards of 18 months the adoptive parents and the child have a relationship throughout that time. The parents are allowed to visit the children and communicate with them frequently and the children come to identify these people as their parents and call them mommy and daddy. For the adoptive parents these ARE their children and some of them were expecting their children to be allowed to come to the States to their home as early as this weekend. But now the buildings that held all the paperwork for these kids have been destroyed. To use the words of one woman who runs a Haitian orphanage, "These children no longer exist." They have no papers, no passports, no identification, no tangible proof that the Haitian government has approved their adoption.

And some of the orphanages have already run out of food and water. Parents in the US are being told that their children have survived but are in danger...and there's nothing they can do about it.

And then of course there are the Haitian parents and their children. Last night I watched a report on CNN: and 11-year-old girl was trapped under some rubble, her leg was crushed and she couldn't move. The newscaster held her hand and talked to her as the rescue workers struggled to free her. Eventually they did free her and got her to a hospital...where there were not enough supplies and no doctors qualified to do an amputation. According to her uncle her last words before losing consciousness were: "Mama, s'il te plaît ne me laisse pas mourir." (mama, please don't let me die). But her mother couldn't help her...But her mother couldn't help her...her mother wasn't even able to find her in time to sit by her side during her final moments of life.

My heart goes out to those families and I urge you, if you haven't donated yet text or send your donation today (you can give $10 by texting the word HAITI to 90999 and your donation will be added to your cell phone bill). You can also click here for a list of legitimate agencies that you can donate to who are helping. Even a $5 donation is incredibly helpful. The money will assist in the bringing of aid to Haiti, including those orphanages. It will help bring some semblance of order to the country and that will not only save the lives of many of the Haitian residents but will help expedite the process of getting these adoptions back on track.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
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