Embracing The Randomness Of It All

Today in an email I made a reference to "fate," joking that I believe in it when it's convenient to do so. But that's not really true. I never believe in fate. Men at bars keep asking me if I do and my answer is always the same: no, no, no. And I don't just tell them that because they're idiots (although they are...I think that line stopped being original around 1931). I simply don't believe that everything happens for some mystical reason. I think we all have free will and sometimes we handle circumstances well, sometimes we screw things up and sometimes our cars break down when we're low on cash. I know I'm in the minority here but I honestly believe in the randomness of life.

I used to believe that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger but now I don't know...there seem to be a lot of seriously messed up, vulnerable people out there in the world; people who use drugs and alcohol to drown the memories of...well of the things that didn't kill them. Are those people stronger than they would have been if they hadn't been hurt? Perhaps the saying should be, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger provided you seek therapy and/or have a strong support system."

There is no shortage of pithy little expressions that are supposed to teach us life management lessons. Many of them were first uttered by some of the great minds of the 20th century: Einstein, Albert Schweitzer, Barbra Kingsolver, Carl Sandburg just to name a few. But under careful scrutiny many of their most repeated quotes don't hold up. In fact the pithier the expression the less likely it is to really hold true. That's not cynicism...well, okay maybe it's a little cynical but mostly it's just an inevitable conclusion I've come to after observing the nature of modern life.

But there are a few quotes that do seem to succinctly state unfailingly reliable truths. I find that those quotes are usually thought up by marketing departments. Like "Life shrinks and expands in proportion to your courage." I really believe that. If you have the courage to pursue your dreams and fight for what you believe in then your possibilities expand. Anyway, the quote was printed on the wrapper of a Pria bar and while I'm not exactly sure what any of it has to do with the benefits of protein bars I still really like it.

Another expression the I frequently pull out of my pocket during stressful times is "Control Your Controllables." I don't know who said that. Unless Websters recently embraced it "controllables" isn't even a real word. But it was an expression that I was frequently beaten over the head with when I was twenty-years old and managing an Express. Corporate was always telling me to control my controllables. Obviously I can't control if it's a rainy day or a sunny day but I can make sure that the few customers who come in during the rainy days get the best service possible. It's a lesson that works in life too. There are always going to be things you can't control. In fact you won't be able to control most things. But you can make an effort to stay on top of the things that are within your control and that will help lessen the impact of all those uncontrollables that occasionally make life difficult.

So I'm not the kind of girl who is going to check her horoscope for advice and if you tell me that something was "meant to be," I might quickly change the subject in order to avoid a debate. But I will try to stay on top of my responsibilities, take advantage of positive opportunities and I will do what I can to live my life with courage. In other words while I remain a major Einstein fan I'm going to let the Pria bar be my guide.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
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