Where I Went Wrong (And How I'm Going To Fix It)

Boy, it has been a rough week. On Sunday everything seemed to be coming up roses by Wednesday my whole world seemed to be covered in fertilizer.

But part of it is my fault. Anyone who has ever ready my book So Much For My Happy Ending knows that I believe we all have to take responsibility for our own fate. Or, to quote a character from a Terry Pratchett book, “There isn’t a way things should be. There’s just what happens and what we do.” I am a firm believer in doing the best I can with what happens. I believe we have to find our own opportunities and make the most of them.

But when things get hard, really hard, it’s easy to look to others to rescue you. Or worse yet, we can expect others to accomplish our dreams and ambitions for us and then share the rewards. I realize I’m being a bit vague here but I’m not at liberty to share the details of the situation that has recently derailed me so hopefully you’ll all bear with me as I try to work this out. See, there are things that I want out of life and when it looked like there were individuals who were willing and able to get them for me I happily sat back and let them play fairy godmother. But things didn’t go as I had hoped…at all. It was a positive learning experience for my main-would-be-wish-granter and a bitter disappointment for me. But did I have the right to be disappointed? If there are things that I really want in life shouldn’t I be the one going out to get them? Yes, it means giving up a little more sleep and some of my free time but if I’m not willing to make those sacrifices then how important can my goals really be?

The reality is that I use the challenges I face as a parent of a special needs child as an excuse. Yes, homeschooling him takes a lot out of me but it’s not like I don’t have access to the rejuvenating power of caffeine. And look at people like Laura Hillenbrand! She suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome. Half the time she can’t eat and the majority of the time she is unable to physically lift herself out of bed. And yet, when she was bed ridden and she found that she was able to lift her arm, even for a little while, she used that arm to write. What she wrote was Seabiscuit: An American Legend. That book went on to become an international bestseller and a blockbuster movie. If she was able to do that then surely I should be able to make some things happen for myself without moaning about how hard the process is. I just have to be more focused. Tougher. I have to cut my TV watching and internet surfing to a bare minimum and say no to a few more social invitations. A little less “me” time and a little more “work” time.”

I realize that the wisdom in this somewhat-self-indulgent-pep-talk all sounds painfully obvious but it’s amazing how easy it is to overlook the obvious when it’s convenient to do so. I’m not going to do that any more. Instead I’m going to go after what I want. What I’m not going to do is wait around for someone else to get it for me.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
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