Happy 4th of July Everyone!

So it's that time again.  Picnics and Fireworks.  And of course there is the greater symbolism of the day.  I'm not going to touch the patriotism issue.  I'll leave that to the presidential candidates.  But the holiday does have another lesson to teach: fight for what you want.

I know, I know, our forefathers were fighting for the universal good, not for personal gain but I'm enough of a capitalist to believe that the two things are not mutually exclusive.  

I know too many people who wait for things to fall into their lap.  "If it's meant to be it will happen," they say.  They further reason that if it doesn't happen there's a reason for it; fate has something better in store for them.

I know this puts me out of sync with many of my friends but I don't believe in fate.  I believe that we live in a world of action and consequences.  Not all the actions are of our own making.  Maybe there's a hurricane that blows down your house.  You have no control of the hurricane although you did decide to buy a house near the water.  Also, you may be the most environmentally sensitive person in the world but other people, governments and companies have all partaken in various actions that will still make your environment a little worse and your energy prices a lot higher.  But while we can't control every action, nor can we avoid the consequences of other people's mistakes we can decide how we are going to react to it all.  We can decide to donate to environmental causes or try to educate others on how to be more energy efficient.  If our job is eliminated in a massive company restructuring we can chose to either hide under the covers or go out there and find a new course.  Or if you're like me you can hide under the covers for a couple of days and then rally for the job hunt.  That always makes the whole process a little more dramatic.  

The point is that when you do get handle on what it is you want for both yourself and for society you fight for it.  You don't sit around and wait.  That's the philosophy that brought this country into being.

The second part of that lesson is that you have to recognize when what you want isn't what you're going to get and then you have to change course.  The pilgrims didn't come to the Americas with the hope of freeing themselves of British rule.  And all the other people who came here looking for religious freedom only left their ancestral home after they realized that their dream of societal tolerance within their own country wasn't going to happen any time soon.  They had to find a new dream.  And then they had to pursue it.

These lessons are resonating with me a lot this year as I find that my own dreams are changing.  For years I have enjoyed the freedom of being unattached.  Now I'm in a relationship and I realize that not only am I happy with it but I want it to grow into something even bigger.  I want a home in a neighborhood that has other families and kids in it.  I want a partner, someone to share my successes and frustrations with and visa versa.  I may even want another child and that in and of itself is an enormous shift for me.  The very idea that I could want something so different used to scare me but now I'm finally becoming comfortable with it.  I'm not in a huge hurry.  Rushing is never a good idea when you're making huge life changing decisions and financial investments.  I also am cognizant of the challenges I'm going to have to face.  If I want to have a house and the ability to provide for both my child and possibly another I'm not only going to have to find a way to improve my book sales in a time when even Borders is struggling but also find a way to save during an era when gas prices are at an all time high and stock market is a big mess.  As for the relationship/partner part...well, that's ALWAYS a lot of work no matter who you hook up with.  But like those revolutionary soldiers who finally decided that they were no longer satisfied with being the bastard children of England, I will fight for the changes I want to see in my life and in the life of my son.   By the way, I realize how cheesy and melodramatic that last sentence sounds so please feel free to giggle (as I am right now).

But silly or not, tonight I will look up at the fireworks and I will see them as a celebration of my own determination and drive as well as that of those individuals who fought to give us a country in which striving for betterment isn't so much a possibility as it is a mandate.  And while I know that I can't control all the metaphorical hurricanes that may wreck havoc on my life I can take comfort in knowing that I have the strength and wisdom necessary to deal with those consequences efficiently.  And if I don't win my fight I'll find another path and I'll fight for a revised dream, something different but no less rewarding.

The founders of this country would expect nothing less.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
SEX, MURDER AND A DOUBLE LATTE,
PASSION, BETRAYAL AND KILLER HIGHLIGHTS,
OBSESSION, DECEIT AND REALLY DARK CHOCOLATE
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING