The Problem With Perfection

I’m not sure when it was decided that we all need to be perfect, with perfect butts, wrinkle-free faces and perfect little noses and stomachs you can bounce dimes off of yet for many of us that seems to be the goal. I realized how much the world had changed after my divorce and the men I became involved with started telling me how great it was to be with a woman with “real boobs.” At first I thought it was a weird and random compliment but then I did a mental inventory of all my friends who either had boob jobs or planned to have them and I realized that in fact there aren’t very many of us “real boob” gals out there anymore, at least not in the area where I live.

And now when I go in to get my brows waxed my esthetician tells me that she wants to let my brows be a little closer together because they’ll spread out when I get Botox. Until she mentioned it I had never considered getting Botox but what struck me is that she just assumed that I eventually would, in fact she admitted that she thought I already had. I guess I should be flattered by that last misunderstanding but in truth I was just baffled. And a few months ago when I noticed my first fine line (right in the middle of my forehead) I started wondering if I shouldn’t have some guy stick a needle in there. The same woman who thought I was getting Botox said that I didn’t need it. According to her if I’m going to get anything done it should be a and if I was going to do anything it should be a photo facial which would wipe out the faint discolorations in my skin---and I’m not being conceited when I say they’re faint, most can be hidden with foundation. But they are there, my skin coloring is not perfect. But for a few $350 treatments it can be.

While getting my nails done the other day I watched as Jackie from Bravo’s “Workout” complimented her trainers for having 14% body fat and scolded the one who actually had 23% body fat. I think my body fat percentage is about 23% and I started wondering if that was a problem. Sure, I’m a size 4 and I workout every morning, but should I be doing better? I read that liposuction works best on people who are already thin and in pretty good shape but just need a little help with those “problem” areas like the extra fat on their thighs or hips. I could fall into that category. And what about that cellulite on my thighs and butt---should I be doing something about that?

The answer is NO. No to all of it. Maybe I’ll eat my words in the years to come but for right now I’m staying on top of my high horse. I’m a biracial woman who has lived in the California sun all her life. That means I have freckles and the like. That’s just life and I’m not going to spend my savings on something that will give me the coloring of a woman who has spent the bulk of her years under a cloudy sky. As for my fine line---I EARNED that sucker. Things haven’t always been easy for me, hell they’re still pretty challenging at times and yet I’m still standing and I’ve managed to become an internationally published novelist and raise a pretty fantastic little boy. That took hard work and lots of sleepless nights so as far as I’m concerned that fine line is a frickin’ badge of honor! And if I can be a size four and exercise 6 mornings a weeks and still have extra baggage on my thighs then I guess that’s just how God intended me to look.

And yet the majority of my friends have an ongoing relationship with a plastic surgeon. I read in the San Jose Mercury that more and more Bay Area women are making appointments for their lipo WHILE THEY’RE STILL PREGNANT so they can be sure to have the operation no more than three months after the birth. At some point don’t we all just need to stop and get a grip? We’re not cyborg beings. We don’t live in the town of Steppford, why can’t we just look like normal healthy women?

Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not some kind of anti-plastic surgery fanatic. If someone’s 5’ 11” curvy and wears a AA cup I would fault them for going under the knife. I don’t even have a problem with the guys and gals who wrinkle early and easily and thus get the occasional Botox or collegian injection but when we start encouraging EVERYONE to inject, plump and tuck the minute they see a flaw we need to stop and think about what’s going on in our society. You know, those Sports Illustrated swimsuit models are AIRBRUSHED. None of us can look like that! So maybe we should stop trying.

More to the point, maybe we shouldn’t even want to try. Sure, we could all spend a bundle and end up looking like beautiful little dolls. But dolls can’t sing off-key karaoke and laugh about it later. They can’t drink a little too much at a college party and end up dancing on the table tops. They can’t take an impromptu road trip with a girlfriend after a messy break-up. Dolls can’t breath.

But I can, and I don’t mind looking like I do. How ‘bout you?

Kyra Davis

Author Of

Sex, Murder And A Double Latte

Passion, Betrayal And Killer Highlights

So Much For My Happy Ending

Look For Obsession, Deceit And Really Dark Chocolate in September 07'!!!