KYRA DAVIS: Alina Adams' Guest Blog: BLOW JOBS AND BOOB JOBS

According to the Pittsburgh-Tribune Review : Mt. Lebanon School District suspended a high school student Thursday for his involvement in a sexually explicit list about high school girls…The "Top 25 in 2006" list, which surfaced last month, graded girls' body parts and described in graphic detail some of their alleged eating disorders, drug addictions and sexual activities.

A parent who found the list brought it into the school principal. Police were called, and an investigation launched. Parents of some of the girls on the list are threatening a lawsuit, saying that the girls were so embarrassed by the list, that they skipped school. Criminal charges are being considered.

Let’s, for a minute, ignore the free speech issue. Let’s ignore the fact that the alleged crime did not take place on school property so where exactly the principal’s jurisdiction came in is a bit fuzzy, at least to me.

Let’s talk, instead, about the following: Were the sexual activities of the girls described in the list forced activities? If so, then this is a case of assault and should be prosecuted in a court of law, not in the school.

However, if the sex acts were voluntary… where, exactly, is the crime?

Over on The Lipstick Chronicles Blog a poster begs to differ, writing:

The sad thing is, I think there is an entire generation of young girls who have already missed the point so horribly, I don't know that they have a clue -- for their "willing[ness] to give oral sex" is becoming a sort of litmus test in high school now. Many girls are being told by peers (and mostly boys) that in order to keep the boyfriend, she's got to perform oral sex, and the cuter/richer the boyfriend, the more girls (and skill levels) he's got to choose from. And so it's a victory to beat out other "willing" girls if you get "chosen" by the cutest / richest boy. When that's a standard at a school (and it's fairly common if I can believe what my sons tell me now)... the fact that they aren't humiliated at being on the list is just one more indication that they have either zero self-esteem or such screwed up priorities, I don't know that they will ever realize the damage this sort of list does to them.

So. Let me get this straight: Modern day high-school girls, raised by feminist mothers, in a society of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and Maureen Dowd, these middle-class, white girls are poor, shrinking violets unable to make up their own minds as to whether they wish to engage in sexual acts? And if they do, it’s only because they were peer pressured into it?

If a girl gets her self-esteem from having the best grades in school, that’s reason to cheer. But if a girl gets her self-esteem from being the one every boy in school wants to date, well, then, she just doesn’t know any better? Why is it okay to get praise for your soccer-playing abilities, and not for your blowjob abilities? They both require practice and skill.

Is that what feminism was all about?

Infantalization?

And while we’re on the subject: I know we all hate Tom Cruise. Bad, Scientologist Tom and his evil minions have brainwashed poor, sweet, doe-eyed, innocent Katie Holmes into switching religions, having a “silent birth” and raising her child in her husband-to-be’s faith.

The poor, shrinking violet again. This couldn’t possibly have been her decision. (I am a big believer in the epidural, but if you knew how many moms-to-be cheerfully chirped to me that they were going to handle labor with just a few deep breaths and some whale songs… And they were not talked into it by evil men; usually it was their fellow Sister-Mothers who made it clear that “natural” was the only way to go.)

When I told my non-Jewish husband that the only way I would marry him would be if he agreed to raise our children Jewish, then had him stand by twice (so far) as our sons were ritually mutilated when they were eight days old, no one suggested that he couldn’t decide what he wanted for himself and had been brainwashed by evil me. (Well, his parents maybe, but that’s another story for another time…)

So, according to the law and the National Organization of Women, a 13 year old girl – sorry, woman – can decide all by herself whether or not she wants to have an abortion, but not if she wants to give her boyfriend a blowjob (or, for that matter, if she herself wants to get a boob job; but, that too is another post for another time…)

Switching narrators for a moment: it's me, Kyra here: If you read my last blog you know that I strongly believe that we should listen to the opinions of others even if they are in conflict with our own. I know that many of you have strong feelings about the subject Alina addressed and I encourage you to post a comment expressing them (as I have done). I have changed the setting on this site so that all readers can post comments (not just registered ones) so let the discussion begin. I also encourage you to check out Alina’s site to learn more about the lady of the hour.

Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
Order Passion,Betrayal And Killer Highlights online now!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read

4 comments :

kyradavisMonday, May 8, 2006 at 9:44:00 PM PDT
I actually think that schools have a responsibility to do what they can to discourage this kind of behavior, both on the part of the boys who appear (from my limited knowledge of the incident) to have set out to demoralize and humiliate the girls in their school and the girls and boys who are willingly partaking in sexual activities that are inappropriate for young teens. However I absolutely agree that teens (and adults) need to take responsibility for their actions. If we say that the inappropriate sexual actions of girls is entirely the fault their male peers then we are in effect saying that girls are not strong enough to stand up for themselves and have ownership of their own sexuality. Is that really the message that we want to send?
kyradavisTuesday, May 9, 2006 at 7:29:00 PM PDT
Hey Keely, welcome to my blog! Thank you so much for posting your comment. It’s helpful to hear from someone who is currently in the school system and knows the people (and the motivations of the people) being discussed.

Yes, I think your parents would be able to tolerate your reading Sex, Murder And A Double Latte and/or Passion, Betrayal And Killer Highlights. There’s some swearing and (in Passion) one sex scene but nothing you wouldn’t see/hear in a PG13 film. I actually have a lot of young readers and I’ve received complimentary emails from both them and their parents so feel free to use that as ammunition if they give you any grief.

By the way, the above applies to Alina Adams’ Figure Skating Mysteries as well.
AnonymousWednesday, May 10, 2006 at 9:51:00 PM PDT
"However I absolutely agree that teens (and adults) need to take responsibility for their actions".

Kyra, I totally agree with you 101% on this. I went to school with a guy that turned out to be a serial killer. He NEVER took responsibility for his actions. Every time he got into trouble, it was NEVER is fault. His parents always blamed the other person or the teacher. According to his family, it was the fault of the jury that MADE him to go to death row not his actions. When this guy was a little boy, he cussed me out for no reason. His mother was next to him and all she said was "Oh he is just being cute" then laughed!! If his parents would have done things differently and if he would have taken responsibility for his own actions, five girls would be alive today.
kyradavisThursday, May 11, 2006 at 3:06:00 PM PDT
Wow, sounds like your former classmate could have benefited from a visit from Super Nanny ; )

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t make light of this. People are dead and lives/families ruined because of that one man’s actions and I feel for all those who have suffered at his hands.

I too went to school with someone who is now in prison for multiple homicides and one count of false imprisonment and torture. Even when I knew her (the killer) in school she and her family were a mess but I don’t think that excessive leniency was the problem. More like excessive use of Methamphetamines mixed with a large serving of parental neglect.