Reluctant Disbelief

The other day, while shopping for some skin care products, this relatively normal looking woman walked up to me with a rather excited smile on her face. “Hi,” she said, “I know this may sound weird but I do psychic readings and as I was walking by I picked up on your great energy. I can sense that some really great things are going to happen for you!”

Normally if a stranger told me that they had “picked up on my great energy” I would have chalked it up to another reason why I should consider moving to a part of the country that was a little less “alternative.” But because of everything that’s been going on in my life I found myself really wanting to believe her. Not enough to pay her for a full reading but enough that I was tempted to follow her around the mall to see if she gave other people the same line or if I was special.

Of course I didn’t actually do that. Instead I went through the day trying to figure out what she saw. Was she going to tell me that my next book is going to become a bestseller? Did she foresee that I was going to make a great choice regarding my son’s education?

Thing is, I don’t really believe in psychics, at least not in the kind that she considered herself to be. But there’s a big part of me that wishes that I did. I want to believe in magic. When I read my horoscope in some fashion magazine I want to trust that “New people who are going to have a lasting impact on (me) will be entering (my) life.” and that “by the 14th I’ll have my priorities worked out.” I would love it if the stars could tell me whether or not things are going to work out the way I want them to.

I’ve actually dated guys who claimed to be able to sense people’s energy…scratch that; I’ve had first dates with guys who claimed to be able to sense people’s energy and I've always managed to cut those dates short. And that’s the flip side of the coin, isn’t it? I long to believe all this but I often find it difficult to tolerate those who do. Years ago I told my son’s preschool teacher that he was having a lot of bad dreams. Her response? “Try putting a Guatemalan dream doll under his pillow. That should work.” I remember studying her decidedly Nordic features and wondering why it was that the people who wanted you to buy into the whole Guatemalan-dream-doll thing were never Guatemalan. Needless to say I didn’t put a dream doll under my son’s pillow. But wouldn’t it be nice if I was wrong and she was right? Put a seriously frightening looking doll under your child’s pillow and he’ll have a peaceful night’s sleep. And the sad thing is that if I had been able to convince my son that was true it probably would have worked, the power of suggestion being what it is. But it’s doubtful that I would have been able to turn him into a believer. He’s a cynic like his mom.

So I guess I’m stuck with a belief in the traditional western God and an awe-inspiring, but somewhat less than magical, material world and neither of them are likely to tell me my future. But I do hope that I’m wrong about psychics. If I am then there’s someone in the world who knows for sure that great things are going to happen for me!

Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
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