Faulty Security

So yesterday my son was “creating a formula.” He does this periodically by mixing together various household substances that I’ve given him the green light to play with. In this case he was mixing together different kinds of juice, vegetable oils and soaps.

“It’s going to be a security system,” he said, “to keep out the burglars.”

I think I may have nodded or said mm-hmm in response; I was engrossed in a Newsweek article so I wasn’t paying very close attention.

Anyway the plan was apparently to mix together all this stuff in his plastic bucket and then put the bucket on top of the gate so when the burglar tried to get in the bucket would fall on him. I know this because while my son was trying to set all this up the bucket fell on his head instead. Suddenly I hear screams; not cries of frustration or the beginnings of a temper tantrum but honest to God screams of anguish. I rushed outside to see my drenched son with his hands pressed against his eyes. “My eyes, my eyes!”

I grabbed him, ran into the kitchen and started rinsing his eyes in the sink all the while cursing myself for not watching him more closely. I wasn’t exactly sure which of his ingredients was in this particular formula but I knew oil was one of them which worried me since we all know that oil is not something that is easily washed away and I suspected that it might have been keeping the soap clinging to his eyes. Of course it was a Sunday (this kind of stuff never happens between 9-5 Monday through Friday when your regular doctor is working) so I paged the pediatrician on call. Less than ten minutes later I get a call back and the doctor tells me that I’m doing all the right things and if he is still experiencing pain in another ten minutes I should go out and buy some saline solution and rinse his eyes out with that. And then without even a hint of sarcasm the doctor says, “When he’s better be sure to compliment him on his creativity. We should be encouraging that in our children”

See this is why so many people feel that the trend of positive reinforcement for children has gone too far. My son at that point was huddled up in a corner crying, (and I quote) “Oh, the humanity!” Clearly the pain he had inadvertently inflicted upon himself made disciplinary action unnecessary but I wasn’t at all sure that congratulations were in order either. I mean okay, alarm bells should have gone off in my head when he started talking about security systems and burglars but since they didn’t I at least have the comfort of knowing that he learned his lesson and will never again put a bucket filled with Dawn and Canola oil in a spot where it might fall on someone’s head. Of course I could have chosen to undermine that lesson by saying, “Hey sweetie, that was a real cool thing you did. Maybe next time you’ll be able to cause permanent vision loss! That’ll get your picture in the paper for sure!”

Anyway, he’s fine now and we’ve both decided that going forward we're going to rely on more traditional security systems.


Kyra Davis
www.kyradavis.com
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!